I was probably six or seven years old, an elementary school student. My parents got me a Leapfrog tablet to play with. The tablet had tens of pages in it, each page giving information about a different country. Also on the page was a map of the country, and a little button you could press that played the country's national anthem.
When I was younger, I loved learning new things about other countries. The tablet was perfect for me. One of the countries included in the tablet was Germany. At this point in my life, I knew that my family came over from Germany, but not too much more than that. I knew that my aunt Elly was born in Germany, but had no idea about any of her horrific experiences there. Obviously, I hadn't learned about any of that yet.
My aunt Elly lived alone in a small house in a suburb of New York City called Great Neck. Great Neck is famous for being a residence of F. Scott Fitzgerald, and for being the basis of West Egg, a location in his novel, The Great Gatsby. When I was younger, my family (my parents, younger sister, and me) would visit Elly a few times a year. But always, we would visit her on Labor Day weekend and take the train in to Flushing Meadows to take in the U.S. Open. Elly was the biggest tennis fan I've ever met.
I was very close to my aunt Elly when I was younger. During my visits to her house, the two of us would always go out into her backyard and throw tennis balls up onto the roof and watch them roll back down. Then, we'd go to her basement and play ping-pong for an hour. To wrap it all up, she would take me into her kitchen and I would help make her famous linzer tortes, cookies with filling in them.
Before leaving for this visit to Great Neck, I thought it would be a nice surprise if I brought the Leapfrog to show her what I learned about Germany, maybe even play her the national anthem. I thought that this would bring back good memories for her.
We packed up the car and left for this trip to see my great-great-aunt. When the four of us arrived, we walked in through the garage just as we always did and sat down in her kitchen to talk. I had the Leapfrog tucked under my shoulder, anxious to get the chance to share my findings.
“Aunt Elly, I have something cool to show you,” I said as we sat down at her kitchen table.
“Oh yes, what is it?” she asked.
I pulled out the Leapfrog and began explaining to her what it was. I flipped through most of the pages until I got to Germany, which was towards the back.
“See, Aunt Elly. It's Germany, where you grew up,” I said.
Unbeknownst to me, her face began getting red. I pressed the little button and the German national anthem began to play.
The current German national anthem is the third verse of a poem called “Deutschlandlied,” which translates to “song of Germany.” The first verse of “Deutschlandlied” is synonymous with the Nazi era, the same time Elly lived in Germany. Although the words to the two verses are different, the melody is the same for both.
As the music started to play, I turned to look at Elly. Her face had turned as red as a tomato, yet stone cold. Her top lip quivered in a mixture of discomfort and fear. I had no idea at the time why she could be so upset, and looked over towards my father. He motioned for me to stop the music, and I did so.
I wouldn't know this for many years to come, but Elly almost never spoke of her time in Germany. Her experiences there left her raw and fearful even in her final years. She lived an entire lifetime here in the United States, but she could never put her first life behind her.
